My dad lost his driver’s license a couple days ago. He figured he just left it in one of the schools that he travels to for work, but then he got it back in the mail. Included in the envelope was a small Bible tract and flyer for a church. It was in Spanish, and the woman who mailed it had written her name and phone number at the top.
My mom asked my dad to call and thank her. I asked why my mom didn’t call since she can speak Spanish and he can’t. He said, “That’s what I said, but she said I have to try myself first.” I smiled at that. “We’re just an old married couple, Kat,” and then he complied with my mother’s wishes.
When the phone was answered my dad asked to speak to the woman who did the mailing. When no one on the other end could understand him, he got out a feeble, “habla ingles?” and then handed the phone to my mom, who went on to have at least a five minute animated conversation with the woman. My dad, from across the room, shook his head. He said, “I would have just said thank you and goodbye!”
I take after my dad on this one, but that’s not to say that sometimes I don’t wish I was more like my mom. She’s the friendliest person I’ve ever met in my life!
One of the hardest things about planning this wedding so far has been choosing the music. I had never really thought about what music I want at my wedding before, and since music has played a big part in my life it’s been difficult to find the perfect songs. My dad has been looking forward to our dance for years, and so I really wanted to choose a special song for him.
The other day I was working on my computer, and I set my iTunes to shuffle. After hearing “One” by U2 and “Fields of Gold” by Eva Cassidy, a song that I had never heard before played. It was just background music to what I was focused on at the time, but about halfway through I had to stop what I was doing to see what it was called, because I realized that I really, really liked it.
It was a song called “Easy Silence” by the Dixie Chicks, on their latest album. I played it over again, and then I looked up the words. Here are the first couple verses and the chorus:
When the calls and conversations
Accidents and accusations
Messages and misperceptions
Paralyze my mind
Busses, cars, and airplanes leaving
Burning fumes of gasoline
And everyone is running
And I come to find a refuge in the
Easy silence that you make for me
It’s okay when there’s nothing more to say to me
And the peaceful quiet you create for me
And the way you keep the world at bay for me
The way you keep the world at bay
I played it a few more times, thought about it, then took my computer straight downstairs to my dad. When I told him it was by the Dixie Chicks he wasn’t too excited because of their politics and the way they said they were ashamed to be from Texas. (But he loves Bruce Springsteen, so see how far that argument goes?) Anyway, he humored me and we listened to it together. I could tell he liked it, and when the violin came in he said so.
I guess this isn’t a typical father-daughter dance, but I think it fits us. When we dance to this at my wedding, I will be saying to him, “The world is a crazy place, and through it all you have protected me and provided me with a home, a place of comfort where I can rest and be myself. We aren’t talkers, you and I, but we understand each other. Thank you for bringing me up safely through all the hazards of life so that I can live this very moment, the happiest of my life, and marry the man I love. He will protect me now, but I know that it is because of you that I am here.”
David’s aunt Sue died on Friday night after almost three years of battling pancreatic cancer. It’s a very close family so if you have a moment, please say a prayer for them: her husband Ralph most of all, her two sons Brian and Michael, David’s father Bill, her brother, and the rest of the family. I will be singing at her funeral on Wednesday morning. I’m honored to do it, and also quite nervous. I can get emotional.
I was telling this news to one of the “seasoned” nurses on my unit today who has worked oncology for 21 years, and has had a lot of experience with grieving families. She asked, “Was she a Christian?” I replied that she was, and then her face lit up. She said, “I always use this analogy: When a baby is born the process is very ugly, painful, messy, and hard. But the end result is something beautiful and alive. For a Christian, death is the same way. The process of dying to this world is sometimes painful and ugly, but on the other side is peace and joy. And those that are left here can take comfort in knowing that they helped her make it there.”
When I heard that Sue had died, what I felt was sadness for her family. The more I think about it, the more I hate death. But God hates death too. In the story of Lazarus being raised to life, Jesus arrives to the home to find the dead man’s family grieving. They say to him, “Why didn’t you come sooner? If you would have been here he wouldn’t have died!” They are mad, frustrated, saddened, and confused. This is followed by the famous verse, “Jesus wept.”
Many times people interpret this verse to show how Jesus empathizes with us and knows what it’s like to feel all of the emotions that we feel. I believe that is true, but I see this verse differently. I believe that Jesus wept because there he was, physically in their midst, the resurrection and the life, and yet they are grieving! He is saddened at their lack of trust in him, because he is ALL ABOUT LIFE!
I don’t mean to say that grieving is bad. I think it is good and necessary. But hope. Hope and trust in God. And praise Him that we don’t have to live forever in these imperfect bodies, in this sinful world. Praise Him for his power and goodness and His perfect plan working out perfectly for those who love Him. Praise Him for newness, praise Him for redemption. Praise him for joy ever-increasing forever. Praise Him for life!
After my mom and I got home from a meeting with the wedding planner from House Plantation yesterday, we told my dad that we’ve decided to use their caterer. My dad immediately said, “I would like some input on the menu!”
“Dad, I already know that you want fajitas.”
“Well, fajitas would be nice, but I’m holding off judgment until I see what they have to offer. If there’s pizza, I’d go for pizza.”
Ah, Friday. It’s a good day. Not as good as Saturday, or Sunday, but still good. And this has been a long week. Not just with work, although that gives me very limited time to accomplish anything else. But with getting the bridesmaid dresses ordered (requiring two separate trips to the shop), a weekly indoor soccer game, dinner with a friend, and finally getting myself organized and settled in my parents’ house, I have had very little time to relax. David came by the house last night briefly, but that was the first time we’d seen each other since Sunday. So yeah, long week.
It’s been kind of nice to be living with my parents again, although strange at times. Cleo seems to like it here for the most part, although she won’t go in the kitchen and I had to carry her up the stairs the first time. She gets so scared of new rooms and hallways. But since my room is upstairs, I had to get her used to it. She has slept with me almost every night since I got her, and it’s very comforting for me to have her there.
The first night I carried her to my bed, and she didn’t move from it until morning. Then she was terrified to get down. The second night she came up the stairs with a lot of coaxing, but she trembled most of the night. The third night I felt too bad for her and let her stay downstairs on the couch. But I didn’t sleep well that night without her, and so I’ve started to make her come upstairs again. Last night I was so happy because she cuddled by my side with my arm slung over her the entire night.
Work has been great this week. I think I am really starting to get the hang of it. I have been taking care of two patients almost entirely by myself, and I think I’m ready to move on to three because there has been a significant amount of downtime. I passed a milestone today in that I accessed my first port-a-cath successfully! This is a device that many oncology patients have inserted underneath their skin on the chest that enables us to give chemo, fluids, draw blood, etc. without having to find a vein every time. While the patients aren’t in the hospital or having treatment you can’t really see it. But in the hospital we access the port with a needle.
I’m at home right now waiting for David to come pick me up. We’re going on a date, and I’ve been looking forward to it all week! It felt so weird to put on regular clothes just now. I haven’t worn anything but scrubs and athletic clothes since last Sunday.
Hey everyone, I’m returning to the internet world. I’ve been almost completely cut off, only able to briefly check my e-mail at work. I have to say, this past week has been pretty depressing. Not because of the lack of internet, but because my life is in upheaval. My roommate Amanda moved out last week, taking all of her furniture and dishes with her. Courtney and I lived the whole week in a bare apartment, with no TV, no internet, barely any food, no plates or bowls, etc. It was a lonely place. I did a lot of reading.
Also, I am still getting used to my work schedule. I love my job, but there are times when I despair over waking up at 4:30 a.m. and going to sleep at 8:30 p.m. I have only a few hours in the evening to myself, and although there are so many things I want to be doing with that time (being with David, planning the wedding, working out, playing tennis) I rarely have the energy for any of it. I’m hoping that things will get better the longer I go.
And then finally yesterday I moved out of my apartment. My amazing fiance, parents, and soon-to-be parents-in-law helped me out immensely. My furniture is being stored at a friend’s house for the time being, and all of my stuff is now piled in an extremely disorganized fashion in the guest room at my parents’ house, where I will be living for the next few months. I’m house-sitting this week, and I am trying my best not to think about this:
Some people may have an anxiety attack when they lose control of a situation, others when they are forced to throw things away, but I lose it when my life becomes extremely disorganized. I’m barely holding it together here!
Also, I injured my toenails again. First week I played outdoor soccer this happened:
Beautiful, right? And I’m sure it won’t be gone in time for the wedding. Oh well, that’s my life. And by the way, outdoor soccer during the summer in Houston? Is pretty much hot as hell, but with a lot more humidity.
To end on a positive note, here is a picture of my handsome fiance with our pastor’s son Isaiah. We went out to eat with their family this afternoon, and I think I only caught about half of the conversation because Isaiah insisted that I sit by him and he talked to me the entire time. I’m not complaining, I want one just like him!
On Monday night I went out and bought a bunch of pairs of scrubs in Caribbean blue, our required color. This is not a popular color for scrubs, but I found it at an awesome store in Katy. There was a friendly Indian woman there who owns and runs the place, and by the end of my shopping experience she was giving me marriage advice and showing me all of her receipts for the day.
On Tuesday my preceptor was off and my backup preceptor was late, so I ended up working with a girl who has only been a nurse since January. Although she was very nice, she was also extremely disorganized and I did not much enjoy working with her. That night David and I went and spent some time with our good friends Megan and Peter, who were in town for a wedding. The highlight of the night involved Megan and I getting completely made fun of for the fact that in high school we listened to ska music and skanked. Don’t know what that is? You’re cooler than I am.
Wednesday my preceptor was off again and I sat with the unit secretary. It was boring, but at least I got to sit down. That night David and I went to visit his aunt and uncle in Sealy. David is very close to them, and his aunt has pancreatic cancer and is not doing well. It was good that we went.
Today my preceptor, Christy, was back and we had a good day. She is allowing me to do more things now. Tonight I am returning to my apartment. I have been away for over a week house- and pet-sitting. I miss Cleo and my bed.
I am really exhausted. 4:30 a.m. comes really early.
Hey everyone, just want to let you know that we finally launched our wedding website at davidandkathleen.net. My brother David designed it, and I think it rocks. It has some things missing in places, but we wanted to get it up and running. So when we add information we’ll let you know in the blog section.
By the way, I’m feeling better and thanks for your prayers. My test is tomorrow, and I plan to relax tonight after work. I’ve prepared well, and I’ll just do my best.
I have successfully completed my first week of work, and I have determined that new nurse orientation is way worse than school. Except for the fact that I am getting paid good money for it, which makes it bearable.
Basically I have been sitting in lectures. They cover a variety of topics, from why Methodist is considered a magnet hospital, to wound care, to cultural competency (as if I haven’t had that drilled into my head a million times by now), to operating an AED. I have also been doing a thousand computer-based training modules. These are better than the lectures, but after the 999th one they get pretty old. (You may notice that I’m prone to hyperbole today.)
Next week doesn’t look much better. In fact, it looks worse because I finished all my computer modules and now I mainly have only lectures to look forward to. Except Wednesday, which is, if you remember, the day I am taking the most important test of my LIFE.
Speaking of that, I guess it’s another reason I feel so drained. I come home from work and I study, that’s what I do. I managed to hurt my back in the process somehow, maybe from all that strenuous sitting I’ve been doing. But seriously, if it doesn’t start feeling better soon I’m going to have to go to a doctor. David and I have barely seen each other this week, which is no fun for either of us. I’m not trying to be a complainer, I’m just trying to express how much I can’t WAIT to get that test over with and start a normal life!
So, I’m taking the evening off to hang out with my parents. David is going to see the Astros with my brothers, so my mom and I are going to go for a short shopping trip. Perhaps I can get some studying in later tonight, but if I can’t, eh. I have the whole weekend for that.
The pinning ceremony is a nursing tradition. Nurses wear pins (usually on their name badge at work) to identify what school they graduated from. These pins were presented to us at the ceremony last night and we were able to choose someone to pin us. I chose David, as my husband-to-be.
But before all of that happened, my parents, David, and I all arrived waaaay early because we didn’t know how the traffic would be. So we decided to get some picture-taking out of the way:
And for some reason I find this very amusing: my mom trying to take a picture of David and me without realizing that the camera was set to record. Obviously I don’t have much patience for this, but David just laughs.
Soon enough my brothers arrived. At this point we were also sharing the table with another family, a family much quieter than ours. As we were waiting for our food, we had the following conversation.
***
Dad: So Uncle David is getting another Ridgeback. They got a good deal on it because it doesn’t have the show-quality ridge. They’re naming it Rigby.
Dad (even more shocked): Kat! It’s a song by The Beatles!
Brothers (in unison): AHHHH LOOK AT ALL THE LONELY PEOPLE
Me: I have never heard of it. [This is true. I listened to it later.]
Dad: I can’t believe this.
Me: Listen, I am not a Beatles fan. I don’t dislike them, I will listen to them, but there are so many other things that I would rather hear.
***
My future mother-in-law will be devastated when she reads this, but there it is. My confession.
Continuing with the evening, we waited quite a long time for our food. In fact, David and I were finished with the whole pinning ordeal before we even took a bite. Ah, what the heck, here’s a little video of me being pinned.
So by the time we got to eat we were all ravenous. We promptly cleaned our plates, and my brother Barry asked for seconds, which I don’t think was part of the deal. After he got his request, though, we discovered that we could all just go help ourselves to seconds, even though no one else was doing so. One woman that we were sitting with offered Barry her roll, but he politely declined. A minute or two later, this happened.
***
Dad (to stranger woman): My wife would like your roll.
Mom: Chris! (She hides her face in her hands.) I am SO embarrassed. You were not supposed to say that!
Dad: What? You wanted it!
Stranger woman: I did offer.
***
I like how my family is the noisy one that eats all the food along with other people’s. I think we have more fun.
