Kapachino

How I Spent My First Month’s Pay

• Gave my tithe to my church
• Paid a huge chunk of money on my credit card bill
• Car insurance and phone bills
• Miscellaneous gas and food
• Donated to my four monthly charities (Compassion, Tabor College, support for two friends who are missionaries)
• Bought my cousin’s wife a baby shower gift
• Bought the CD Ampersand by Derek Webb and Sandra McCracken
• Paid to have my address changed on my driver’s license
• Premarital counseling

• Bought Coldplay tickets. Yes!

Still have some to spare! I’m liking this “real job” thing. Even though it does wear me out, it’s also very fulfilling. I had the option of taking the holiday off, but I chose instead to work to save up more personal time. I was a little jealous when David texted me at 11 a.m. saying he had just woken up. I responded, “Do you realize that you’ve had a full night’s sleep since I got up this morning?” I didn’t have much sympathy when he told me he was still tired!

Busy weekend ahead of me, and I hope to have much to report at the end of it!

Lopsided Friendship

I have a friend. I met her in an interesting way that is most uncharacteristic for me. When I graduated from college the first time and moved back to Houston I was working at a cancer clinic doing medical records. I had this job for two years before I entered nursing school. One of the nurses at the clinic was my friend’s mother. Her mother and I became close, and I really looked up to her as a role model for many different reasons. She would talk about her daughter from time to time and eventually I thought I might like to be friends with her daughter too.

I wasn’t sure how to make the friendship happen, but there finally came an opportunity to meet in a somewhat non-threatening manner. My roommates and I were planning on attending a Beth Moore conference at the time, so I decided to invite her. I actually just called her out of the blue (luckily her mom had told her about me), we talked for a bit, and she agreed to come. We met and were able to talk easily, and since then we have made an extreme effort to stay in touch. We don’t have any of the same friends, so it is difficult. But for a few years now, we have been meeting almost every week to have dinner together.

We are entirely different people. She is charismatic, and I am not. Charismatic in the spiritual sense of the word mainly. I have stories. I know her well now, and I believe our hearts are in the same place, but if I had known all of this about her in the beginning I would have thought, “I’m sure she’s a wonderful person, but just not the type I can be friends with.”

I love my friend deeply, but it’s almost as if she occupies just this one little corner of my life, cut off from everything else. I have been talking to her about my wedding this whole year, and I was extremely happy for her when she got engaged a month ago. Since then I have loved talking to her about her own wedding planning. I thought we had an understanding, that we are two very different people who have decided to make a friendship last despite our worlds being so separated. I thought that we could always talk to each other but that in the end, we were peripheral friends. I expected that when she moves next year, that we would possibly fall out of touch.

I was speechless tonight when she asked me to be her maid of honor.

I was flattered, honored, overwhelmed, speechless, but mostly I felt guilt. That she’s not even a bridesmaid for me. And when I said yes, she just squealed with delight, said I had made her day, that she was telling her fiance the other day just how much she liked me even though we are so different.

I guess all I can do is continue to make a conscious effort to maintain our friendship, and be the best maid of honor I can be .

Early Monday

I was woken up at 3:45 a.m. by the two 100+ pound dogs that I’m taking care of this week, Teak and Riley. They wanted to be fed, and there is no more sleeping when they want to be fed. So I got up and did just that, and then I stayed awake because my alarm was scheduled to go off at four. It’s only fifteen minutes, you may say, but when that fifteen minutes comes as early as it does it makes a big difference. So I was annoyed.

But, as usual, I got to work and everything was great. Two cups of coffee and I didn’t feel the sleep I was missing until about 1 p.m. when we had an inservice. Today I was assigned a patient all to myself, and I think I did pretty well. Although I must admit, she was not demanding at all. I spent the majority of my time today with my mind wandering to wedding plans.

On the way home I stopped at the grocery store, and I was strolling the aisles in my own little world. The song “Jack and Diane” was playing on the loudspeaker, and I was singing along to myself. As I rounded a corner and looked up, there was an older woman coming towards me, an employee, and at that moment we were both audibly singing, “Oh yeah, life goes on…” when our eyes locked. We could have been embarrassed, but instead we just smiled and walked on.

I Want My Normal Life Back

Hey everyone, I’m returning to the internet world. I’ve been almost completely cut off, only able to briefly check my e-mail at work. I have to say, this past week has been pretty depressing. Not because of the lack of internet, but because my life is in upheaval. My roommate Amanda moved out last week, taking all of her furniture and dishes with her. Courtney and I lived the whole week in a bare apartment, with no TV, no internet, barely any food, no plates or bowls, etc. It was a lonely place. I did a lot of reading.

Also, I am still getting used to my work schedule. I love my job, but there are times when I despair over waking up at 4:30 a.m. and going to sleep at 8:30 p.m. I have only a few hours in the evening to myself, and although there are so many things I want to be doing with that time (being with David, planning the wedding, working out, playing tennis) I rarely have the energy for any of it. I’m hoping that things will get better the longer I go.

And then finally yesterday I moved out of my apartment. My amazing fiance, parents, and soon-to-be parents-in-law helped me out immensely. My furniture is being stored at a friend’s house for the time being, and all of my stuff is now piled in an extremely disorganized fashion in the guest room at my parents’ house, where I will be living for the next few months. I’m house-sitting this week, and I am trying my best not to think about this:

Some people may have an anxiety attack when they lose control of a situation, others when they are forced to throw things away, but I lose it when my life becomes extremely disorganized. I’m barely holding it together here!

Also, I injured my toenails again. First week I played outdoor soccer this happened:

Beautiful, right? And I’m sure it won’t be gone in time for the wedding. Oh well, that’s my life. And by the way, outdoor soccer during the summer in Houston? Is pretty much hot as hell, but with a lot more humidity.

To end on a positive note, here is a picture of my handsome fiance with our pastor’s son Isaiah. We went out to eat with their family this afternoon, and I think I only caught about half of the conversation because Isaiah insisted that I sit by him and he talked to me the entire time. I’m not complaining, I want one just like him!

Hang With Me

Hello, I just want to say that unfortunately I no longer have internet access at my apartment. I am moving at the end of the week and my roommate accidentally had it cut off early. Therefore posting will be scarce this week, but I will do my best! But, now it is past my bedtime.

The Week So Far

On Monday night I went out and bought a bunch of pairs of scrubs in Caribbean blue, our required color. This is not a popular color for scrubs, but I found it at an awesome store in Katy. There was a friendly Indian woman there who owns and runs the place, and by the end of my shopping experience she was giving me marriage advice and showing me all of her receipts for the day.

On Tuesday my preceptor was off and my backup preceptor was late, so I ended up working with a girl who has only been a nurse since January. Although she was very nice, she was also extremely disorganized and I did not much enjoy working with her. That night David and I went and spent some time with our good friends Megan and Peter, who were in town for a wedding. The highlight of the night involved Megan and I getting completely made fun of for the fact that in high school we listened to ska music and skanked. Don’t know what that is? You’re cooler than I am.

Wednesday my preceptor was off again and I sat with the unit secretary. It was boring, but at least I got to sit down. That night David and I went to visit his aunt and uncle in Sealy. David is very close to them, and his aunt has pancreatic cancer and is not doing well. It was good that we went.

Today my preceptor, Christy, was back and we had a good day. She is allowing me to do more things now. Tonight I am returning to my apartment. I have been away for over a week house- and pet-sitting. I miss Cleo and my bed.

I am really exhausted. 4:30 a.m. comes really early.

First Day on the Unit

I woke up at 4:45 a.m. and got home at 5 p.m., and all I’m thinking at this moment is that my legs and feet are very tired.

Today I met my preceptor, Christy, and basically followed her around the entire day. She is extremely nice, but I don’t think she quite understands the concept that I am an RN with a license (yay!) and I can actually do stuff. It wasn’t until the end of the day, when she was getting behind, that I finally told her, “You know if you need help with anything I can do something for you.” She said, “You can give meds?” Um…yeah, I’ve been doing that since the second semester of nursing school!

She won’t be my only preceptor, because she doesn’t work every day. But I really liked the unit and the people, and I’m sure I will love it once I get more involved and obtain more autonomy. I already requested my vacation days (August 1-3 for my good friend Ellen’s wedding in Kansas, and of course October 3-12!), I have my own locker with a lock and my name on it, and I know all the secret codes. I just need to get my hands dirty!

P.S. I promise that all my posts won’t have to do with nursing from now on!

I Passed!

Although I thought the test went well, I was still so nervous to check the results. A thousand scenarios had developed in mind around how I would react if I failed. I am very grateful that I don’t have to find out. I’m an RN!

If I hadn’t passed, I think I would have been overcome with stress. I might have had an aneurysm. Because I start on my unit next week, and first of all, how embarrassing to have to go back and tell my manager that she hired the nurse who couldn’t pass the board exam. Secondly, I have to move by the end of the month, which is in about two weeks, and that includes repainting my room. Third, I get married in what? Three and a half months??? I only have to put together practically the entire wedding in that amount of time. If I had to worry about studying for and passing the NCLEX in another 45 days…I don’t even want to think about it. But I don’t! I passed!

NCLEX Run-down

I couldn’t sleep last night. I was in bed at 9:30 p.m. but I just tossed and turned. I guess I finally drifted off eventually, but I was awoken at 3 a.m. by Teak and Riley, who I am pet-sitting, because they had to go outside. Then my alarm went off seemingly ages later at 5 a.m. I was restless, so I got out of bed right away. As I was getting ready I kept thinking, “I can’t believe I’m going to take this test today.” I was so nervous my stomach was doing flips. I can’t remember the last time I was that nervous about anything.

I got to the testing center half an hour early. My car was the only one in the parking lot.

So I went and sat on a bench outside of the building, and just tried to calm myself down mentally.

After a few minutes my friend Lauren walked up, and we talked until it was time to go in the building. We had to wait until exactly 7:30 a.m. before they would let us in the suite. We each took a number, and that was the order we were checked in. I took number 3. I showed them my ID, my authorization to test, signed a signature pad, had my picture taken, and was fingerprinted. I put all of my stuff in a locker, except a sweater that they let me take in. Then I was given a dry erase board and a set of earplugs and was led to a little cubicle. I ran through a tutorial of how the test would be given, and then my first question popped up.

I’m not allowed to talk about the exact questions I got, but I do know that I got 6 questions about pediatrics, 2 about OB, 9 regarding specific drugs, 1 calculation, and 14 “alternate item” questions that were “select all that apply” rather than multiple choice. The rest were mainly a mixture of med-surg, delegation, and teaching questions. I had 75 questions total, the minimum amount. It took me an hour and a half.

My impression? It was hard. REALLY hard. If it were a test in nursing school I would be extremely upset and just know I failed. BUT, the NCLEX is not scored on a percentage; you just have to get more right than wrong. It was very similar to the practice tests I had been taking, and I passed all of those. So, I honestly feel pretty good about it.

The results will be ready for me to view on Friday, but I will be at work. I could check them there, but if I happen to fail that would be extremely embarrassing because everyone in my orientation group will ask me about it. So I’ve decided that I’m going to wait until I get home that evening and I’m with my fiance David to check it. I want to be with him either way it turns out.

I feel exhausted for one, and a little numb to it all. I also feel apprehensive, because I can’t quite relax yet. But it’s nice to have the rest of the day off. After I finished the test I immediately went to get a manicure and pedicure. Then I met David for lunch, and now I’m going to take a short nap before going to meet David again for dinner and a movie.

If you prayed, thank you. I can’t tell you how much it comforted me to think about all the people that were praying for me. Now if you could just pray for two more days until I find out my results, that would be great!

Wedding Website

Hey everyone, just want to let you know that we finally launched our wedding website at davidandkathleen.net. My brother David designed it, and I think it rocks. It has some things missing in places, but we wanted to get it up and running. So when we add information we’ll let you know in the blog section.

By the way, I’m feeling better and thanks for your prayers. My test is tomorrow, and I plan to relax tonight after work. I’ve prepared well, and I’ll just do my best.

Talk to you after it’s done!